The Un-Sportsmen of the Year

Normally, during this time of year, we take time out to appreciate all the good things in life.  As you may or may not know by now, we’re a little too cynical to do something like that.  So instead of taking the cookie cutter approach that everyone else does, we decide to go the other route, and highlight those who are harboring the most shame, guilt, and embarrassment after an interesting 2007. 

Believe me, after one of sport’s most tumultuous years, we weren’t short on options.  For those that love drama, or get their news from the tabloids, this year was ripe with plots that could have fell right out of a soap opera.  There was gambling, federal indictments, investigative probes, scorned lovers, violence, and scandals galore.  So, without further ado, let’s just jump right into this thing.

10.  Tony LaRussa
Once a pillar of class and dignity, TLR took hit after hit in the media this year, none more devastating than his DUI arrest in March.  This indiscretion was bad enough by itself, but when Cardinals pitcher, Josh Hancock, was killed in a car accident five weeks later while driving drunk, LaRussa was forced to burden the blame for setting a poor example.

Then there were his questionable tactics while managing the team, and for a while, it looked as if the legendary coach had lost control of the reigns.  There was the ongoing feud with Scott Rolen, which has become a mini-drama that seems to be getting dangerously close to its boiling point.  But perhaps the most mind boggling moment of the season was when LaRussa chose to bench Albert Pujols during the All-Star game, and then instead of trying to smooth things over, he sent home the point by trashing him in the media.

9.  Notre Dame Football
Could the football program have embarrassed this university any more?  For years we had to listen to their alumni cry about the direction their sacred team was heading due to their stringent admissions policies.  They finally got what they wanted after the university opened up their gates for Charlie Weis, but I imagine this isn’t what they had envisioned.  The team still sucks, but now they have over privileged athlete’s running around town conducting themselves in a manner that would make Chris Henry proud.  We should have known that Weis had no control over his players after the offseason they went through.

The first incident occurred when Derrell Hand was picked up for soliciting the services of a prostitute.  Call me crazy, but wouldn’t you think being a member of one of the most prestigious football programs in America would grant you certain opportunities with the fairer sex?  Then, Demetrius Jones took it a step further by getting busted for pot after being pulled over for littering.  The icing on the cake came when super recruit, Jimmy Clausen, was picked up for transporting alcohol as a minor.  He was cited at a liquor store, along with a 23-year-old who purchased two bottles of vodka, a bottle of whiskey, and a case of beer prior to entering the quarterback’s car.

8.  Don Imus
Imus set the airwaves ablaze by referring the Rutgers women’s basketball team as “nappy headed hoes” on his radio show, which ultimately cost him his job…  temporarily.  This was easily one of the most shameful moments in sports talk history, but after showing contrition, and blaming rap lyrics for his actions, the FCC allowed him to walk away unscathed.  After taking back his chair on December 3, the hiphop nation felt the need to fire back, with rappers such as Chamillionaire and Jay-Z leading the way.  But he was hit hardest by North Carolina rap duo, Little Brother, who felt that his comments and views on the black community were well rooted long before his April 4 statement:

“They tryin’ to blame this rap sh—for all of our ills/like I can stick you up with a mike/like I can rape you with a verse or use a verb as a knife/ like before Kool Herc everything was all right/ like y’all wasn’t calling black women hoes before Rappers Delight.”

7.  Bobby Petrino
I fully understand Petrino’s motives for jumping ship on the Falcons, but that doesn’t excuse him from bailing out on them when times got hard.  Or should I say harder?  Actually, I don’t blame him at all.  Chances are he would have been quickly fired, and after it became apparent that Michael Vick wouldn’t be showing up with a cape to save the day, I would have handed in my walking papers too.  When a guy decides to align himself with possibly the worst NFL team ever, over yours, then you know things are bad.  Here’s to Bill Parcels and Petrino for having the courage to bail on a sinking ship, despite the ramifications.

6.  Isiah Thomas
Could it possibly get any worst for Isiah?  At this point he would likely embrace being fired, but James Dolan allows him to keep trudging out there night after night to get humiliated all over again.  So far the team has lost a six figure sexual harassment suit, the will too compete, and their identity as the NBA’s signature franchise under Thomas’ thumb. 

5.  Elijah Dukes
This was supposed to be the year that Elijah broke out, instead he found himself engulfed with legal troubles.  But was it ever entertaining.  In one of the most creative death threats of all time, Dukes sent his girlfriend a picture of a gun, along with a voice message that said, “You dead dawg, I ain’t even bullsh—in.  Your kids too.”  Then if that wasn’t enough, Dukes went on to impregnate a foster child that was living with his relatives, giving him his sixth child by five different women.  The age of consent in Florida is 18, unless the other party is under 24, then, then in this case the age of consent is lowered to 16. Dukes, 23, slid in right under the bar on this one, but it still doesn’t do much for his public persona.   I

4.  Tim Donaghy
When the NBA announced that one of their referee’s had been compromised by the mafia, I don’t think anyone was shocked.  Most were just surprised that it took them so long to realize it was happening.  Regardless, it was still one of the darkest days for a sport that has lived through a melee involving fans and players.  The effects of this will be long lasting, as fans will constantly view every call with an inquisitive eye, never knowing if the next man is under the thumb of a man watching from the shadows.  Donaghy will be sentenced on Jan 25, and could be imprisoned for up to 25 years.

3.  Mike Vick
What else is left to say about Mike Vick’s dog fighting epic?  After being sentenced to two years in Federal Prison, we’re hoping that Vick finds the help he needs to truly become rehabilitated.  We’ll miss the crazy stories, and his even crazier aliases, but something doesn’t feel right about reveling in another man’s tragedy.

2.  Roger Clemens
1.  Barry Bonds
The story that never stops giving.  Clemens came out of nowhere with a last minute entry and shot right up to the top of the list with his inclusion in the Mitchell Report.  Bonds is no stranger to the un-sportsman side of things, as his steroid saga has played out in the press for the last three years, but with his looming date with Congress, this saga could finally be over.  Stay tuned for what happens next with both of these men.
 

Also deserving mention:  Pacman Jones, Chris Henry, Tank Johnson, Marion Jones